"We're going to Kentucky, we're going to the fair to see a Senorita with Flowers in her hair..."

Well, Richard and I leave for Miami tomorrow and we are completely psyched for our trip. It will be so great to spend a few days together just him and me. We will miss the kids like crazy and I know by the 2nd day he'll be whining and calling him every hour wanting to talk with Ethan. I am very excited to spend some quality time with Richard. IT will be a long drive to Miami but as long as I have to drive the bare minimum, we'll be fine. (I hate to drive.)

Shanna, Katie and I met at Applebees friday for some much needed drinking and girl talk and waiter harrassing which was not a very big deal since Katie used to work there and knows everybody. Lauren came over last night to watch 'Mamma Mia' even though I had no desire to see such a movie, getting to spend time with her like everything is cool again was great.

Stephanie, a dear friend from middleschol is engaged. She is about the nicest person I've ever met. She never talks badly about anyone. She's appreciative and smart and beautiful and a real catch! I'm really happy for her and Josh and it's really hard to believe that she'll be walking down that isle. I hope her life is always as happy as this week as been for her. No one deserves it more.

I haven't heard from Misty, but I hope she's doing well. I don't know if I should call her grandmothers or her moms. She just moved and I don't think she has a phone yet so I'm in limbo waiting. I hope she and her girls had an awesome Christmas.

I have some new years resolutions I want to take care of. First and foremost, I have got to stop drinking soda. It's so bad for you so I'm making a commitment. There are a few more private things that I'll keep to myself. I want to excersize more. I want to be a better wife and mother but that's an every day struggle.

I need to stop and get some Asti for Peter and Mary and a Thank You for letting us stay overnight in Atlanta en route to Miami - Just a reminder for myself.

Okay that's all. Off we go!

"We Wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year"

So it's Christmas Eve. It's the best time of year to have Children. Ethan is so excited about Santa Clause- it's really adorable. I know one day some idiot classmate of his will tell him the truth about all of that- but I hope he gets to believe for a while. It's really fun to be able to watch his eyes light up on Christmas morning and c'mon as a mother- you have to admit, there is not as powerful as pretending to have Santa on your Blackberry speed dial.

Ah work. This is a really good time for work. Mostly there is none except that I do take care of invoices for all of marketing so this is a pretty busy time for me. I also have to organize a large training for January in Dallas so I'm doing a lot of prework to be ready when I get back from Miami on January 5.

I did have enough time today to go down to the gym at the office and take a shower to be ready for my Christmas party with my family. My dad is so bummed out so I called all my sisters yesterday and asked them to meet me at Grandma's house early so we could make a video tape for my dad and email it to him. I think it will make him feel so much better.

Lauren and I talked a little last night. Mostly we fought but decided that we were going to be okay as time would heal whatever we were going through. I said 'I'm not mad at you- I'm mad at him. I'm so mad at him and it's going to take some time to be okay with this. She wants to marry Chris and have kids with him. I can't stop that trainwreck. I can only watch it happen. Maybe people change. Maybe. I hope so. For her.

I'm lucky to have Shanna who is a great friend. For all the problems I have with Lauren; I have none with Shanna. I'm happy to know that I'll always have her. I never worry about us. I know we're going to be okay. I don't have that kind of stability with anyone else in my life. There is something there that says that everything in the world can leave us; but we'll never leave each other. I don't know why I think I need anything else.

So much happening in January. Miami, The House, 25.
Too much.

"... I was already gone...Life is a runaway train you can't wait to jump on..."

My mind seems to be running a mile a minute lately. There is too much going on up there. First there is this whole Lauren thing. We are both to stubborn for whatever the next step is. If it's just walking away or if it's forgiving each other. Instead, we hang in limbo waiting for the other to make a move. She did text me and said she hoped that one day we could get over all of this and be friends and that she missed me. I gave her about 24 hours before I wrote her a text that I'm sure is construed as blowing it off. It wasn't intended to be mean but I wasn't ready to go there. She hasn't written since and I'm not sure I want her to. I have a digital frame in my office and there are more pictures of Lauren and I than anything. The first few days I turned it away because it made me mad to look at it. Now it stares me in the face like it's waiting for an answer from me. So do I give in and just grit my teeth through Chris? I can't. I really don't think I can watch him hurt her anymore. And I know we can't be friends without Chris being a factor. She loves him. So what is the issue? Sometimes I can't remember and sometimes it's so fresh in my mind that I hate him more than anything. This will end terribly. I can't explain that to her because she has to see it through. Does that mean I sit by and watch it all go down? Or do I put my foot down and say 'no way.' There is no right answer. I miss her though. I just don't know what to do. Before sticking by her made sense. Now it makes none.

My wisdom teeth are stupid. I was told 7 years ago that I needed them out. I didn't because 1. I hate dentists and 2. If it's not broke, dont fix it, right? Wrong. I'm in a lot of pain- the teeth are impacted and they need to be taken out. I can't until February though so it's suffering until then.

My 25th birthday is coming up soon. I don't even have anything delightful to say about that except that I want to be 21 again. I'm a quarter of a century old. That was funny on Richard's 25th. Now? Not so much. I have something great planned for my friends though. They are going to have a blast.

I miss my Dad. I really do. I should fly out to Washington to see him. If I could fly, which I can't because I'm terrified. He's so sad about missing Christmas with our family. He calls every night almost in tears because he wont be there. I'm making a video at the party and emailing it to him on Christmas morning. Modern technology is nice, huh?

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. I really can't wait until Christmas morning. We didn't do a BIG Christmas. I don't even know if we ever will. I think 10 presents is good enough for Ethan. HE has everything he needs and it takes him forever to open a present. He's very OCD about it. The paper cant be wrinkled. The tape comes off first and then he slowly unwraps. There's something weird about that kid. He gets it from his dad, I swear. I love my kids. Maddox is walking now. It's so crazy. He's still my little baby in my head but he grows and he's tall and Mason is sweet and watching Maddox. He wants to walk too but he can't. He gets too excited when he stands up. I just love that little guy. At 1 year old- I can tell his heart is so big.

So much on my mind this Christmas...

Going to Miami... Welcome to Miami (Can you hear Will Smith?)

I haven’t been on blogger in foreverrrrr…well 2 weeks but still. Oh, btw, I am going to the Orange Bowl BABY! Miami- 1 week over the Orange Bowl, New Years, and my birthday. I’m so excited but dreading the drive. This weekend, my GPS arrived and I am in good hands. I wish there was a ‘don’t take me to the hood’ option on it though. Miami is rough parts or so I hear. We are actually staying in Boca Raton though. I’m so excited to go down there and root the Bearcats to a victory against the Virginia Tech Hokies! It’s going to be awesome! 60 degree weather in January and watching FOOTBALL! How amazing! Misty called me this afternoon and over talking I realized that she didn’t have enough money to give her daughters a good Christmas which made me feel soooo crappy about buying a $350 blackberry that I did not need. I am in the works of making sure that she has a great Christmas though. It’s funny – she’s in what most would call a toxic relationship with the father of her 2 daughters who seems to have an addiction problem. Addiction to what you ask? Anything. Addictions change but if you have that personality- you have that personality and he does. Just like Chris, Laurens boyfriend. After years of them fighting and him treating her like absolute shit, I got mad and broke ties with him and thus strained my relationship with my best friend of 10 years. I wanted to be the supportive friend who would always be there for her…but I could not support her going back to him AGAIN. I just couldn’t watch it and I didn’t want him anywhere near me. Lauren and I will probably never be the same and I have to deal with my decision to go that route. However, there is a difference in my disgust of Chris and my wavering interpretation of Randy (Misty’s boyfriend). Now they both suffer the same issues, and maybe it’s because there are children involved, but I am rooting for Misty and Randy to make it work and I’m definitely hoping that Chris and Lauren don’t work out and she’ll finally open her eyes and be done. Is it because of their children? Is it because I see the crap between Lauren and Chris more often than Randy and Misty? I don’t know. But I found it odd in our conversation that in many ways the best friend of my past and the best friend of my current are both dealing with these similar situations and I have such different strong feelings about both of them. I really need to analyze this further. But not here. Not now.

Oh Richard left a note in my car today on my airfreshner that said ‘I love you’. It made me all warm inside. This weekend was a drag. I was stressed out to the max on so many levels. Last Wednesday Richard was sick. On Friday I came down with the identical bug. And then Ethan has it today. It’s terrible. I hate this season; sad and gloomy and dreary and sick. Argh.

Holiday weekend...end scene.

Thanksgiving was great. The shopping was fantastic. Being with family, good food, etc, etc... but the BIG EAST CHAMPIONSHIP TROPHY was clearly the highlight of my weekend. It was exciting, emotional, triumphant... and all of the things that college football should be. Now we should be Miami bound for the Orange bowl which unfortunately because of forces beyond my control, I am not able to go which bums me out like you couldn't even believe.

Still, we'll have a big BCS party and it will be great for those who stayed behind. Oh and Ohio State is also going to a BCS bowl. Ick. I really wanted to be Ohio's ONLY BCS team this year. And it looks like Notre Dame might be getting rid of Weis because Let's face it Notre Dame looks TERRIBLE... and word is that Brian Kelly is numero uno on their list. I know that he's Number 1 for the fans at least that what the boards/blogs seem to indicate. I've always hated ND but I think Kelly did a great job here and who can blame a guy for taking a 50% increase in pay? I can't. Plus ND is his dream job so it would be such a let down for Cincinnati, but understandable in reality. Plus, UC would then become a GREAT looking prospect for other coaches. I think Mike Thomas would make the right decision too.

Lauren went to the game and because of some internal turmoil that she's dealing with was very quiet. It's hard to see your best friend make a decision that you know will hurt her time and time again. Of course, after I finally put my foot down, she felt it necessary to repeat all of my (many, many) mistakes I've made and how she never put me down or told me I was making bad decisions.

All I could say was, 'You should have. A good friend does. You should have shaken me out of the funk and said 'listen dude, you're screwing up your life!' So that's what I'm trying to do for her. I know that with Love you have to let people make the mistakes and learn. But there comes a turning point when you say to yourself, 'this may be the mistake that ruins her life! That makes her cry again and again! And there's nothing I can do but watch her as it happens?!' I'm not good at consoling people after breakups. I suck at it. So I cant' really know what to say but I just... Im hurting to see her hurt so much. I want it to stop.

Anyway enough of my babble. After the game, I went to Shanna's and we put up her Christmas tree and George made a great dinner. I really got to spend a lot of time with my friends this weekend which is awesome.

I have a million projects I need to work on and all I really want to do is blog. Maybe I'll be back later after I dive into this pile of stuff to do.

Happy Thanksgiving...

I could list the things I'm thankful for in life, but it would take nearly forever. I'm a blessed person for whatever reason and I know I have God to thank for that. I know I have veterans to thank for the freedoms I exercise. Blessed. To be an American is to be truly blessed.

Yesterday, at a seedy bar, I wrote Angela and Lauren ALARK on a wall already filled with love or hate exclamations. I love that it's there and hopefully will be forever. Speaking of bars, I went to a few last night and ran into my sister after her shift at Hooters. Some old dirty regular followed her to RTs and was buying her drinks. It really pissed me off to see this old man with his eyes on my baby sister like she was a cupcake. I wanted to hit him in the face. Lauren basically had to drag me away while I gritted 'Ft. Knox' through my teeth. It's our code for always protecting each other from guys. Don't ask. We have a lot of these little cryptic messages. That's what happens when you've been best friends for 10 years. She's also going to the game with me Saturday. She graduated from UC and never made it to a basketball game or a football game. How does this happen? Only to Lauren.

*YAWN* Well I have to be up at 2 am for Black Friday Shopping. I'm looking forward to it.

Officially starting this blog...

Okay, I'm just going to jump into this blog right now. I need a new outlet and LJ isn't cutting it. I'm at work right now and Thanksgiving is tomorrow and Friday...well Friday... is the most wonderful day of the year. BLACK FRIDAY! I will be camping out in front of walmart to get a $97.00 GPS from GARMIN. I know a lot of people don't understand this shopping insanity but it is actually calculated into my DNA. Plus, I have the worst sense of direction (unfortunately not calculated into my DNA) and so actually knowing where to go every time I get into the car will be nothing short of amazing. Once, I drove around Cincinnati for hours trying to find my way home and really Cincinnati is not that big... I'm just that... directionally challenged.

The second HUGE thing that happens this weekend is the UC/Syracuse game where WHEN we win the game, we will clench the BIG EAST TITLE AND AND AND ...an automatic bid into a BCS bowl for the first time in history. It's like having a tiny little orgasm to even think about it. Orange or Sugar? I don't know, I don't know but either is beautiful. Fucking Beautiful.

Let me explain to you what being there on Saturday was like. It was one of the best moments ever. I will look back on the game for the rest of my life and remember what it felt like to beat Pitt for the first time ever. I will remember how it felt to rush the field to 'Another one bites the dust' while seeing the players hoisting up the River City Rivalry Trophy in front of me. The stadium alive with people jumping up and down and crying and screaming. Best. Day. Ever.

I'm trying to push past the really sad part of me that notices basketball coming into play to remind me that football season is ending. Okay, I can get excited about basketball especially with UC's 4-0 start to the season, but can I just say that when football season ends - it's like a grieving period every year. It's sad and it doesn't seem like there's anything to look forward to for months. April is kind of exciting when we purchase our season tickets and we have that spring scrimmage game. But then we really wait until August. And this year we're losing 11 seniors on Defense. It's a dark unknown out there right now- I'm just trying to have faith.

I have the funniest guys in my section too at the games. Chris, Brian, Amish/who I lovingly refer to as AJ. They have made games this year really fun. I say UC fans are the best. Lauren and Chris are going with us Saturday and it's going to be fantastic. Two of my favorite things in one place: Lauren and Football. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Okay some I'm done lamenting about the season ending and I'll focus on the good things in life and how much turkey I can eat tomorrow.